Priceless Bags of Dirt

He doesn’t make the darkness disappear; He makes it bow to Him.

5-minute read

I hate that I have to start with this, but there’s a huge Avengers: Endgame spoiler in this so if you haven’t seen it….

You get the drill.

Someone very close to me posed a rather pertinent question this morning:

“I struggle believing that God could be good–like, why do so many bad things happen to good people? Why do my family members experience death and sickness at the absolute least opportune times? Why do they have to experience this? If He’s good, why wouldn’t He intervene?”

I don’t agree that people are inherently good (This article from last month highlights school shootings in the US alone. Not to mention the 27+ million slaves worldwide, the refugee crisis and what’s causing it, international poverty levels, pollution, and so much more. Left to roam free, humanity is destructive. Haven’t you seen Avengers: Age of Ultron?). And while that might be true, the question stands: If God honestly is good and is love, then why would He let so many bad things happen? Why are more than 95,000 children murdered each year (not including abortion), 56% of them by their own parents? Why do 9.1 million people globally die of starvation each year? Why was a 5-year-old boy thrown off the 3rd-floor balcony at the Mall of America? Why did my college pastor’s son get diagnosed with Trisomy-18 in-utero and only survive 15 days outside the womb?

If He’s good, where is He? Why such pain? Why such heartache? Stress? Why?

Honestly I don’t know. “Just trust that it’s part of God’s plan” is an answer I’m not fully satisfied with. I know that He allows some things to happen for reasons we can’t understand. The book of Job explains this much. Like, sin has broken the world, and this is how we experience it personally. I get that. But why would He allow those specifics? I don’t know.

But am I supposed to? I don’t know about that either. Would I really be satisfied if I got those answers? Probably not. I think if God told me everything I wanted to know, I’d never follow Him into the darkness. Kinda like Tony Stark and Dr. Strange’s “1 in 14,000,605”. Tony never would’ve snapped in Endgame if Stephen would’ve told him he’d have to in Infinity War.

What I do know is this: all God has ever done is take that dirt in my life and the peoples’ around me and has made beautiful, wonderful, jaw-dropping things out of it.

Think about it: God made so many things that are intricately beautiful: mountains, rivers, New Zealand, Texas sunsets, diamonds, gold, wildflowers, and the Grand Canyon. But out of all those amazing things, do you know what He chose to use when He made you and me?

Dirt.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. –Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Do you see that? His masterpiece. Of all the things God created, we are His crown jewel. In everything He created, He values not one thing higher than humanity. And He used the last part of His creation anybody wants to be a part of except sometimes 2-year-old boys (not exactly at the peak of their goodness if you know what I mean).

I’ve yet to encounter even the mention of a culture that sees dirtiness as a virtue. Even the Bible uses that symbolism to describe so many negative aspects in life. Yet God took that dirt and made the one and only object of His affection. You have worth. You have value. Yeah, you’re dirt. But you’re His dirt. And He says you’re priceless.

He’s taken my lustful thoughts and fantasies (dirt, by all accounts–they’ve hurt the woman who will be my wife in 22 days, my mother, my father, my roommates, my bosses and workplaces, the women around me, and so many others) and He is using them, right now, to free other men. He’s taken my drive for being right and succumbing to anger and directed them toward good, toward a drive to be a faithful husband, father, brother, and son.

He did it with Abel. He’s doing it with family members of mine who are dealing with chronic illness. He’s done it with Peter, Paul (ON PAUL, HOLY COW READ THIS OMG), Jim Elliott, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, AW Tozer, Augustine, and so many more.

In 1st Peter 4:12, Peter says “quit being surprised by the dirt. Instead, trust your Faithful Creator” (ATV-Abridged Ty Version). He’s not just the Creator because of Genesis 1 & 2. He never stopped. Trust Him; it will lead to absolute, unending, fully-satisfied, & complete joy. Let Him in.

He doesn’t make the darkness disappear; He makes it bow to Him.

Jesus is Illogical (?)

Imagine: you’re a Christian. You grew up in church and you were taught a lot of the stories of the Bible and you were especially made aware of your responsibility to share with others the good news about Jesus. Now your’e an adult, and you’ve just heard a sermon at church on Sunday about the Great Commission: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[b] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20 ESV) The preacher did good. And you are fired up about it, so you head to lunch, and at your table, your sever comes up and asks for your beverage order.

“Hi! Did you know Jesus loves you?” you ask with a huge smile on your face, hoping to start a conversation about Him in order to lead this person to trust Him for the first time.

“Uhhh, yeah,” the server half-replies, his eyes scanning the table to see if everyone is in on this or if it’s just you. He decides it’s just you so he begrudgingly looks back to your eyes.

“Well, did you know that if you just admit that you’re a sinner, believe that Jesus rose from the dead, and confess that He’s your Lord, you’ll be saved?” The awkward is beginning to be tangible.

“Uh, well, I mean I’ve heard that before,” he says, “yeah I know.”

“Oh cool!” you chime. “Have you done that before?”

Okay stop.

Like, really.

I think we all have this weird idea of evangelism that it always has to be like this because at our core, we don’t even understand what’s going on. We’ve heard that we need to tell others about Jesus, but we don’t know why. We don’t even know why God chose blood as the required payment for sins. But we know His blood is it, and everyone else needs to know, too.

I think one of the main reasons most people don’t talk to others about Jesus is just this: we don’t even know why we believe what we believe. So if we were to get into a conversation about it, we’d have to explain that we actually have no idea what we’re doing. And we’re scared of that.

At face value, this whole story might not make much sense. You need to get saved. Why? Because you’re a sinner. Why? Because God set rules and you broke them. Why? I don’t know, He just did, okay? Accept Jesus. But why? Because He’s the only way. The only way to what? Eternal life. Where did that come in???

It’s confusing.

But it doesn’t have to be.

It might seem illogical on the surface, but dig a little deeper and it makes so much more sense.

Let’s start where we find ourselves already: the Bible says that we need to trust Jesus as our Savior, and so do a lot of Christians around us, even if they don’t know why. Why does it say we need to do this? Because, it says, we are sinners who broke God’s laws. And it’s been that way since Adam and Eve first sinned in the garden.

But didn’t God create everything? If that’s true, then why did He create something that He was just gonna sentence to death and hell and then tease it by saying He loves it the most out of all His creation?

Okay, now let’s go back to the very beginning. If Adam and Eve got us into this mess, we should be able to get some answers from them.

Genesis 1 says that God created everything good. Why do we know that it’s only the good stuff? Because after literally every single thing He created, He stepped back, took a good look, and “saw that it was good.” It’s all over Genesis 1. Everything that He made is good. Always. Forever. Good.

Then in chapter 2, the Bible zooms in on the creation of man and woman. In it, Moses writes that God set a tree in the middle of the garden and told them not to eat from it. Why would He do that? Because He’s a moody middle schooler who just wants to keep people away from His stuff? Because He’s an ant bully, frying Adam and Eve with a magnifying glass for kicks and giggles? No. He did it to define their relationship with Him.

Think about it: nobody knows what the heck to do in a dating relationship because there’s no real, clear, concise definition of what it means to be dating. But there is one for fathers and sons. It’s made evident quickly when there are inappropriate actions between them because most people know what is appropriate and what is not as far as actions, thoughts, and emotions go.

So God puts the tree in the garden and gives them literally every good plant the earth grows and on top of it all He only gives them one rule: don’t eat the fruit on that tree. AKA, trust me. You got all this from me. Don’t look somewhere else. Not yourself, not anywhere else–you’ll get hurt. Don’t do it.

We call islands in the Caribbean or some people call Florida a paradise because they have everything they need in one place. Wall-Mart became a version of paradise for the retail industry because Sam Walton consolidated a bajillion stores into one. It changed everything. And that’s exactly why Eden was considered a paradise: you didn’t have to go anywhere else to get literally anything else at all. It was all right there; because Jesus was right there. He set the rule to keep them protected, provided for, and led in the right direction: back to Him.

But in chapter three, they get the first opportunity to live out their purpose in creation and they miserably fail. Literally the one and only rule they ever had, they didn’t just break–they absolutely destroyed it. And that was a major offense. God said the penalty for it was death.

Now God, why the heck would you get so mad out of two bites taken out of a fruit? Not as much for yourself? Losing seeds for the next crop season? No. He was troubled because they literally took the one rule of “trust Me,” and spat in His face over it. “Nah, we’re good. We don’t need you.” So here’s why that’s such a big deal:

#1: God is pure and perfect (lacking nothing). Think of the most innocent and un-guilty person you can think of. Maybe your child. Maybe a baby. Maybe your granny. Now imagine that person brutally beaten to death with the blunt end of a lead pipe. You’re gonna go after that murderer, aren’t you? Hack him to pieces and see how he likes that. It’s totally unjust. That never should’ve happened. But here’s the deal: God is even more pure and innocent than that. We’ve already established that all He ever did or made was good. The reason behind that was because He’s only good anyway. the Bible calls God omnipotent: all-powerful. He’s can do any single thing in the world, as long as it’s good. Because the reality is He’s actually incapable of some things; namely, anything that goes against his character. Like sin. Or bad. Or evil. He can’t do that. So they violated Him. That’s a big deal.

#2: God is infinite. That insanely heinous negligence of the innocent in #1, yeah that applies to an infinite God so the crime is literally infinite, too. Nice.

So yeah, it makes sense that whoever did that would lose their right to life. If you look at the very being who gave it to you and not only spit on his face, but trample him under your feet and worse, he’s for sure gonna take away the life that he gave you. It only makes sense.

Now, how does that apply to you and me? This still sounds like only an offense that Adam and Eve committed, but we’re still all condemned worldwide somehow? Well, here’s your answer: the Bible says that when Adam and Eve sinned, their decision didn’t just impact their direct relationship with God; it also tainted the rest of creation, too. It literally stained everything God created with sin. That includes the egg and sperm cells that created Adam and Eve’s children, Cain, Abel, and Seth (and more, but we’ll stick with the boys for now). So they were literally conceived in sin (Psalm 51:5). Every baby from there out was made from sinful, broken cells. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense that the world looks like it does right now, and how the Bible can say that every single human throughout time has been sinful. So now that brings us to our own predicament. We are born with a natural bend to sin.

So when we look at our sin now, how does it stand equal the sin they committed in the garden? To understand it, we have to compare them.

Let’s use Adam & Eve, Adolf Hitler, and myself. We already know Adam & Eve’s sin, and most of us know Adolf Hitler’s. If you don’t, Google it. Won’t take long. For me, the Bible has clearly said that I need to control my eyes and control myself when I see women that I think are attractive. I would be lying if I said I’ve never struggled with where my eyes go. It stinks. But it’s my life. So how are all three of us equally guilty in God’s eyes?

Easy. What is true about all three? Only one thing: that God set a rule, and in all three situations, we looked back at Him and said, “Yeah, thanks, but no thanks. I know better than you.” We’ve already established that was the real issue in Adam & Eve’s story. At the end of the day, all of God’s laws exist to protect us and provide for us in a world where sin makes it really stinking difficult to live that way; protected and provided for. The laws point to Him as our source, not anything else. Not satisfied with the way the world is? Don’t kill 6 million people to make it better. It won’t work. Come to me. Feeling like she’s gonna give you a good time, even if it’s just in your head? Don’t. She won’t. It won’t last. But my goodness and peace will. Rest in that. Find satisfaction there. Come to me.

So we’re equally guilty because that’s exactly what Adam and Eve were commanded to do.

So everybody’s guilty, , and everybody’s dying. Great.

And we’re also going to hell. Don’t forget that part. (There are so many verses about this, just click here.)

See, this is the part a lot of people take issue with. “If God is love, why would He send anyone to hell?” That’s a very good question.

What is hell, first of all? Do you know why it exists? Why God created it? What happens there?

It’s the only place in all of creation that is completely, totally, 100% devoid of God. Satan, the artist formerly known as Lucifer, rebelled against God. He got it in his head that he could be greater than God, so he convinced a third of the angels in heaven to sign his petition and then fight against God. Needless to say they lost. Bad.

So since God saw that clearly, Lucifer didn’t want Him anymore, He made a place just for Him and His following that God would never be a part of. He called that place Hell. It’s described as a dark place, full of weeping and gnashing of teeth, and it’s nicknamed the Lake of Fire. This is not some magnifying glass that God uses to burn people just for fun. It’s also not a scriptural inconsistency with His goodness. This place exists because He is love. It exists out of His goodness; He wants us to be able to choose to follow Him or not. Because He is good, He gives us the option. That does not mean that He causes sin. the Bible is clear about that. All it means is He gives us the ability to choose Him, or not.

So Hell is not a torture toy for Him; it’s exactly what we’re asking for when we say we don’t want Him. If He created all things good, perfect, and joyful because He is good, He is perfect, and He is joy, then a place without Him in any degree will also not have any of those things in any degree, either.

Nice. What a great place to be. Sinful, condemned to death and an eternity of pain and misery in a lake of fire. What a nice and loving God, leaving us stuck like that with no way out.

Yeah but listen, the Bible also says that with the shedding of blood, there can be forgiveness of sins.

Hold up.

It’s not over.

Yeah, death is coming because you sin. That’s a real thing. Can’t get around it. But maybe you can (?).

God is just, so somebody’s gotta pay for these issues. He can’t just neglect injustice and forget about it. It goes against His character. Tack that onto the list of things He cannot do (but thank God that’s true, which we’ll talk about in a second). Something’s gotta be done.

So say you get a speeding ticket. Who’s gonna pay for it? Your dog? Your horse (if you have one)? Your Amazon Echo (“Alexa, pay my speeding ticket.” lol if only)?

No. That’s stupid. A human has to pay for it. Doesn’t necessarily have to be you, but until another human steps in and pays for you, that ticket’s on you. It’s the same thing here: humans have to pay for the sins they’ve committed. God can’t just do that because that’s not real justice. Once again, against His character.

So it’s gotta be a human. But what are they gonna pay? American dollars? British pounds? Sweet potatoes? Roman lots? None of it is worth anything to Adam. But God’s not gonna ask for different payment from different people if everyone’s offense is the same.

So what’s the one thing that every human at any point in history forever has more or less the same amount of which is also worth the exact same thing to every single one of us?

Our blood.

Right now, my blood is worth the exact same amount to me that Adam’s and Moses’s and Alexander the Great’s and Oprah’s and Donald Trump’s and Jeff Bezos’s and the Queen of England’s and your neighbor’s down the street all of our great great great great great great great grandkids’ 400+ years from now was, is, and will be to all of them: it’s worth our whole lives.

Whoa wait a second, didn’t God say that the payment for sin was death? A.K.A. our lives?

Yup. Blood. Crazy isn’t it? It’s all falling together a little more now.

But it gets even crazier.

Because here’s the deal: if I made an infinite violation against an infinite, pure God, then my blood’s not gonna work. At max, I have a gallon and a half of blood in my body. But remember, not only is it not enough; it’s also made out of sinful cells.

So if I use my blood to pay for my sins, I don’t have enough and even if I did, it’s dirty anyway. It’s like washing a muddy, soggy, puke-stained, dirty California King-sized comforter with a single fluid ounce of muddy water. It’s for sure not gonna work.

So here’s our issue: we’ve violated God’s good and perfect standard, so we need a human that has endless, pure blood to pay for it; someone that can pay back the infinite offense with blood that has zero sin in it.

There’s only one person in history who’s ever fulfilled those requirements.

That’s right, it’s Jesus.

He became a human out of the divine intervention of the Holy Spirit (Mary didn’t have sex with God; if He has the power to speak planets into existence I think He has the power to make a virgin pregnant pretty much by just thinking. Don’t make it weird.) He lived a life for 33 years without committing a single sin (because He’s God, so once again: against His character. Not that crazy when you really think about it.). At 33, He died, shedding His blood. When He did, the temple had a curtain that separated God and humanity. It represented the division between God and man that came as a result of choosing sin over Him. It represented the injustice that had occurred against Him. That curtain was 60 feet tall (according to Josephus who claimed that Herod extended it in the temple, above the original 45-foot requirement given by God [which would’ve been impressive enough]). It was also at least 4 inches thick (although some records claim 15-20 inches). When Jesus did, that curtain ripped right down the center from top to bottom. Nobody climbed up there and cut it with anything (what would they cut a four inch curtain with anyway?). The point is clear: God removed the separation. Jesus fixed the issue.

Then He rose from the dead three days later, proving He has power over literally everything ever, even death. This also extended His payment of sin into eternity future, since if He had stayed dead, the payment would’ve only counted for everyone that had lived up until that point.

So now here we are. It’s been 2,019 years since Jesus was born and now we have the ability to start walking with Jesus in a way that redeems the things that are wrong about us. Hitler could’ve had the opportunity to turn from his ways, live a life of good and prosperity and love and would’ve had a legitimate ability to do so by spending time with Jesus in His word and with His people. I can do the same and live a life full of pure thoughts that lead me to think healthily about the women around me (anybody looking for a solution to rape culture and “toxic masculinity”? Hello.). Adam  and Eve could pursue God by accepting the payment He would send in Jesus, which they were made aware of from the beginning.

Evangelism makes a lot more sense when we look at the whole story. Heck yeah we would want to invite people into this. I don’t want anybody in that position to stay there if they don’t have to.

Choose Jesus. He’s worth it. And He makes a whole lotta sense, tbh.

 

Stay.

I love basketball. For as long as I can remember, it’s been a part of my life somehow; my dad is a coach, all three of my sisters and myself have played on school teams as well as others, I even had a tiny little basketball goal in my room when I was like, I don’t know, maybe four or five years old. I’ve been around it forever.

I would say the height of my basketball career would have to be when I was a middle schooler, specifically my 6th-8th grade years. I have lots of highlight stories that would make 14-year-old Michael Jordan shake in his Chuck Taylors.

One time, we found ourselves in a break during a drill, and our coach used that pause to reiterate the proper form for catching the ball: one hand behind and one to the side, to stop the ball from hitting you and to support it from falling out of your other hand. To prove his point, he threw it directly to me and I flung my hands up as quickly as I could but I wasn’t paying attention at all and the ball slid right through my hands and smacked me in the middle of the face, knocking me to the ground in about 0.2 seconds flat. I was fine, but I was still a little shaken up.

Another time on the road, in a 6th-grade game we had agreed to play quickly before the JV and Varsity games, I was put in with about 2 minutes to go. I don’t remember the score, but my teammate passed me the ball as I was standing a few feet inside the 3-point line. There were no defenders close enough to scare me from shooting, so I pulled up and chunked the weakest airball the Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Catholic School gymnasium had ever seen. It was a flop from the second it left my hand. Needless to say, they didn’t really pass me the ball after that.

Those are just a couple of the ridiculous antics I pulled on the basketball court in junior high, and the entire time I played from 6th to 8th grade, I kind of earned a name for myself for being a player that absolutely stunk. There was a constant in all of these mistakes, though, that I didn’t see until years later; I would always play pretty decently until I made one mistake. After that, it was downhill for the rest of the night. If I messed up once, I would become terrified that it would happen again, and again, and again, and again. I would get so focused on messing up that I would end up doing exactly what I was trying to avoid.

I think, a lot of the time, we respond to our sin the same way. I know I do.

Tell me if you relate: you know that Jesus loves you, that He died for you, and that His resurrection made it possible for a relationship with Him. You’ve accepted that, and received salvation as a result. Days, weeks, months, maybe years have gone by and you’ve done such a good job of fighting temptation and making war against sin but after all this time your eyes wander and you catch yourself thinking lustful thoughts again. The intensity of the shame and regret that follows almost immediately is overwhelming. How could you do that? Why is your heart running back to that place? You’re still so broken, you feel. Jesus is mad at me, you think, I’m gonna have to work hard and dig myself out of this pit. You emerge with such a fear of failing again that within a day, you’ve intentionally sought out ways to fulfill those lustful thoughts, whether it’s through your internet activity or just your thoughts, or somewhere in-between. And then you do it again. And again. And again. And suddenly you find yourself right back into the patterns you’ve fought so hard against for so long.

The fight against sin is no easy one. The longer you spend entertaining sin like it’s not a cheap imitation of the real joy found in Jesus, the more you train your body to respond to sin and not to Jesus.

Former Navy Seal and NFL player Clint Bruce said it best: “You might have heard it said that when tough times come, you’ll rise to the occasion, but the Seals know better. They tell you, ‘Forget that. It’s a lie. You’ll never rise to the occasion–you will always sink to the level of your training.'” It shouldn’t be a surprise, then, that we still sin even though we’ve trusted Jesus is our Savior. We’ve been conditioning ourselves this way. It’s simple.

Let me put it another way. Todd Wagner told this story to me, and I can’t get over it. Imagine your neighbor has a dog, and all day long he abuses it, beats it, and starves it. Never once has he treated this dog with love and care, and he’s had it for years. Its chest is sunken in, its bones are way too visible, and there are scars, both closed and open, all over its body. One day, you decide you’re going to buy that dog, whatever it takes, because you can’t stand to see it abused any longer. So you go to your neighbor and he says that he’ll sell it to you, but only at the right price.

“So what is the right price?” you ask.

“A hundred billion dollars,” he replies, with a sheepish grin because he knows you won’t pay that for a dog. It’s not even close to thinking about being worth that much.

With a strong, determined, and resolute face, you look him in the eye and confidently tell him, “I’ll take it.” And you pay the man a hundred billion dollars.

Now the dog is yours, but it’s not trained to listen to you. That’ll take some time. Every day, you play with it in the front yard, giving it bones galore and washing it, applying medicine that might hurt now but will ultimately bring intense healing, and feeding it steaks the size of its own head. It literally couldn’t imagine a better life. But you live across the street from the old master still. That hasn’t changed. Every day, that old master, because he’s so twisted and so terrible, whistles for that dog and tries to coax it back into the street because he knows there’s a truck coming and man, wouldn’t it be fun to see the dog get hit by the truck?

Everything within that dog is going to want to run across the street toward its master, especially at the beginning of its new relationship with you, because it hasn’t spent much time hearing your voice and learning how much you really do care. But you’re always there, grabbing its face and turning it to you. “Listen to me,” you say, “he is no longer your master. He has no power over you. I have life more abundantly for you, so stay with me. He is trying to give you a cheap imitation. It is not the real thing. I am. Stay.”

Don’t get me wrong: if you keep getting hit by cars, it looks like you have no new master. How you live matters. But how stupid is it to think that when I do choose a moment to run after my old master and I get hit by a car that my new Master will sit there and scold me and remind me of my idiot decision to listen to that terrible one? Scripture speaks of no such thing. Instead, it proclaims in abundance a loving Father, who has nothing but forgiveness and grace to offer. That debt is already paid. You have nothing to do but sit in His love and forgiveness.

Bob Goff said it best: “These days, the view of God I hold onto isn’t Him being mad because I’ve missed the mark. It’s the one of Him seen through a bloody eye [after I accidentally let the shotgun go off inside the house], scooping me into His arms, getting blood all over His shirt, and carrying me away to get healed.”

“The Lord has removed your punishment; He has turned back your enemy. The King of Israel, Yahweh, is among you; you need no longer fear harm.”

–Zephaniah 3:14-17

My punishment is gone. Jesus took it. He paid all of it. So why am I wasting all my time wallowing in self-pity? There’s no reason why I should be. I could be using that time to be in Jesus and in His presence, reiterating His promises of love and grace and forgiveness over me.

How will I respond when I mess up? How will my reaction be when I sin? I pray that it would be to throw myself on Jesus, to be open and honest when someone asks, to confess my sins clearly, but to move on in love and grace.

I’ve messed up in life. I’m not fooling anybody acting like I haven’t. My flesh is relentless; satan is, too. There is a war raging between the man I used to be and the man I know He is making me to be. And when I say war, I mean it; knock-down, drag out, total annihilation. But what is so crazy stinking awesome is that I have victory in Christ anyway–He has defeated death–sin’s ultimate weapon is already a loser.

Jesus is better.

When my heart is broken by sin and its shameful effects, and I feel like I need assurance from others and a shoulder to cry on, Jesus is better.

When I run to lust instead of Jesus and I feel like the temptation disappearing completely will be proof that Jesus finally approves of me again, Jesus alone is better.

He’s better than my best ideas. He’s better than everyone approving of me. He’s better than a life without error or sin. If I gain all these things I think will make everything okay but I don’t have Jesus then NONE OF IT MATTERS.

When my job stinks and my classes are hard and my family is far away and the weather is stinking cold and I reach a point in my life where I realize that resolving those things is not what I need–it’s Jesus–that is where life is found. That is where joy is, where hope abounds and where blessing rains.

“In Your presence, there is fullness of joy. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

— Psalm 16:11

 

Is Your Heart In the Right Place to Rush?

I’m gonna start this off by saying I absolutely love my fraternity, you should rush, 100%, and that I love Greek Life and DBU so much that I rushed as a junior.

It happens, I get it.

Also, I’m old. I get that, too.

Hi. My name is Ty, I’m from St. Louis, I fell off a cliff one time, I’m in Tau Alpha Phi, and I freaking love Jesus and Sky Ranch.

Most people who know anything about me know at least one of those things. Usually more. What they probably can’t tell you, however, is what church I’m plugged into, and where I find my community. My reputation does, in fact, precede me, but it doesn’t really include my community.

And I hate that.

I grew up without brothers–just 3 sisters–and I had always wanted one because of that. I found it hard as a middle schooler and high schooler to connect with other guys at a level that continued our friendships after high school, and I regret that in a lot of ways. So coming into college here at DBU, it made sense to rush Greek Life because fraternities are nothing but a bunch of guys you can suddenly call brothers that you end up doing most of life with. So I rushed.

I was torn between two specific fraternities here at DBU, and couldn’t choose. I wanted that community, that brotherhood, and I wanted God to give me relationships with other guys that refined me and made me look more like him, or at least that’s what I told myself.

To this day, I don’t know if I can tell you all that motivated me to rush, because I know it was partly the lack of brothers beforehand but I know now, looking back, that it was much more. What I can say is that I missed something huge through that week and much of the following pledgeship: that community had been right in front of me the whole time. I just didn’t want to jump in.

If you’re rushing at DBU this week or at any other fraternity/sorority on whatever campus and you’re doing it to find your community that you will be most plugged into and most heavily dedicated, Greek Life is not the place for it.

I mean, listen, like, you need to hear this and you need to preach this at yourself night and day ’til it’s that random thought that bugs you when your mind has 0.02 seconds to space out:

A fraternity/sorority is not the church.

A fraternity/sorority is not the church.

A fraternity/sorority is not the church.

A fraternity/sorority is not the church.

A FRATERNITY/SORORITY IS NOT THE CHURCH GOSH DANG IT.

It took me almost a year to learn this. Jesus has set up that community for you.

DO NOT rush to find your community at DBU. If you’re not plugged into a church, a fraternity or sorority will not offer for you what the church was originally designed to do.

I don’t want you to read this and hear me saying “Don’t rush at all.” What I want you to hear me saying is this:

“Don’t rush to find your base community. Don’t do it to find what the church is already offering. Rush because you want the guys or girls in your organization to push you toward the cross, to be resources for you when you need a hand and to be there for you when you need them, but don’t rest your spiritual standing with God on the fact that you rushed a Christian fraternity or sorority. That’s not good enough.”

The statement, “I’m cool with God and He’s cool with me on the whole church thing–I’m in a Christian fraternity!” is a dumb statement. Yes. Dumb.

Maybe the church harmed you in the past. Maybe it’s just not doing it for you now. Maybe you’re hoping that a fraternity or sorority will be the community the Lord has called you to dive into first and foremost.

It’s not.

I’ll say it again:

IT. IS. NOT.

He has established the church specifically for all of these things. And don’t think that if you’re not plugged into a church somewhere you’re not going to get a bid. Granted, that’s highly likely, but it’s not an exclusive deal.

But know this: according to Scripture, a.k.a. the Word of God, you should be plugged into a church. That is of utmost importance. To pick Greek Life over the church is not to follow Jesus. If that’s what you do, I’ll tell you right now your faith is not where you’re saying it is. Choosing Greek Life in place of the real thing is straight up just rejecting what God has for you, at least in part, for your personal preference (a preference that directly defies his Word, but you know, it’s whatever)

[It’s definitely not whatever. It’s literally such a huge deal.]

So rush. Do it. Go through the process and have a blast, every single one of you.

Unless you want your organization to be your main source of community and the main way you “get plugged in with God” because I’ll tell you right now, that’s not why these organizations exist.

Get plugged in at a local church. Get serious about following the Lord, and don’t just join a group because they always win Greek Games, or Spring Sing, or because their service project is something you’re really passionate about, or because they’re full of guys/girls “who are just like you,” or because they turned the hill behind the LC into a massive slide, or because they make the world’s meanest jalapeño poppers, or because they have so much fun that nobody really knows what’s going on–do it for whatever reason, just not to find your main sense of community.

It’s been under your nose and all around you since before you ever came to DBU.

 

PS If you’re reading this and you haven’t signed up for rush yet, you know you have to do that right? You don’t just show up.

You Literally Cannot Do This, So Stop.

I want you to read this like you’re about to make the worst decision of your life and I’m pleading with you through tear-soaked eyes to talk you off the ledge. That’s literally how important this is.

The room is tense–there’s a feeling in the air that seems to make everyone tight and unable to look anyone in the eye. Nobody’s said much for an hour, except the man leading the group, but he’s about to try and change that, and even though we’ve all seen it coming for the entire time we’ve been here, we’re all dreading it.

Then he asks that question.

“So, how have you been doing this week, dude? How’s your walk with Jesus looking? Anything I can be praying for in your life?”

UGH. Of course. He’s asking me. I spurt out the quickest answer I can think of.

“Yeah man, not really. I mean, I’m going through Romans right now and it’s really good,” God, please don’t let him ask me about specifics; the last time I read was actually a week ago and I honestly don’t even remember what chapter I’m supposed to be on now, “and as for prayer, I guess just a stronger push to stay closer to Him and keep growing in Him, you know? To be the man I’m supposed to be.”

I hate this.

It’s the same bull-crap answer. Every single week. Every single meeting. Every single guy.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever  been on either side of that conversation. Sometimes you’re the guy asking the questions, writing down the prayer requests, and then never praying for them because you lost the list somewhere among all the receipts you saved because you said you were going to use them to balance your checking account but you never organized them so you gave up. Most times, you’re the guy in the hot seat, chucking out some half-baked answer to an honestly serious and potentially life-giving question, scrambling to keep up an image of a Godly man even though you’re putting in a C-rate effort in the rest of your life.

A friend of mine said recently that he’d seen community done freakishly well and had also seen it done terribly, and the more I go through life, the harder it is for me to say I’m seeing it done well like he has.

Men, it’s time to wake up and face the truth: we suck at community and we suck bad.

Outside of the Christian sphere of influence, there are male relationships that appear to be pretty healthy, but are, at their core, centered on selfishness. Bromances usually spring out of times like at least two guys having spent a lot of time together, finding they have things in common, and then acting on those common interests (like hardcore sports fans or literally anything else). On the surface, they look great. But below deck, each guy is only there because the other is providing him with something: shallow companionship (i.e. lack of loneliness, affirmation on their opinions, etc.). Christian men are doing the exact same thing. And it makes me sick.

In our weekly/monthly/semi-annual/whatever Men’s Breakfasts/Men’s Lunches/Men’s Church League Sports/whatever other program you can come up with, we’re all afraid to expose our real lives and be vulnerable with each other. We have to have it all together. We have to have control of our families. We have to have a solid footing in our jobs and be excelling at them. We have to be 100% abstinent from extra-marital sex and pornography, lying, deceit, slander, and any other sin you could list.

I’ll say it again: we have to have it all together.

If you are a man who has trusted in Jesus and His sacrifice/resurrection and you can say you’ve never agreed with that statement for even a millisecond of your entire life, I’ll pay all your kids’ college tuition.

You can’t. That’s just it.

This lie cuts deep. It drives how we interact with each other. It shuts us down when we want to speak to a stranger about Jesus. We don’t want to be rejected. To be rejected means we failed. To fail means we’re inadequate. To be inadequate means we don’t have it all together. To not have it all together means God is displeased. And to have God displeased with you means your chances are done.

STOP IT.

NO THEY’RE NOT.

“There is none that are righteous: not one.” –Romans 3:10

We can all agree we’re messed up. All of us have something that makes us think, “Man, if they heard this part of my story they’d never want anything to do with me again.” We all do. It’s in there somewhere. But check this out:

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” –Romans 5:8

I think a lot of us tend to look at that verse and let the past-tense of the second half of it determine how we think about God and His opinion of us.

We shouldn’t be.

The first part is present indicative.

“What the heck does that mean?” you ask, because the former English major in me just lost you. It means that it’s indicating what’s happening right now.

Present: right now
Indicative: indicating

“God demonstrates His own love for us” is a phrase that means God is doing this every single day. He shows us His love all the time! His love for what? For us.

His love for you is so strong it motivated Him to let Christ die on that cross. Do you know what He went through that day? It’s horrific. It’s beyond that. And He did it all for you. If he thinks enough of you to do that for you, then doesn’t it make sense that there’s not much that can change that opinion?

Yeah, that’s right, it’s literally nothing. He’s not going anywhere.

Dudes, we are so good at sitting around and talking literally all day about the Cowboys alone. Or maybe our wives/girlfriends. Or maybe TV shows like Friday Night Lights, the Flash, House of Cards, or whatever else you like. And do you know how many of those things matter?

Not one of them. Not even one.

So if we can do that, then why can’t we get ourselves to be real with the most important part of our lives: our relationship with Jesus? We’re so afraid of being wrong and being the broken guy that we waste our time doing nothing but performing (and performing really terribly, to be honest).

Stop it.

Quit fighting this alone.

You can’t do it alone.

You are broken.

So am I. But it doesn’t matter because Jesus died for us anyway. That’s how much He loves you. And me. So why would we act like what’s really fiction is true and deceive ourselves? That’s stupid.

We can’t make it on our own. We have to go together. We have to come to the honest conclusion that the only reason other people seem to be able to do good things like we can’t is because they’ve bought in to God and His vision for the world a little more than we have. Simple fix.

Easy fix? Not really. But it is simple:

Spend time with Jesus. Like, a lot of it.

Don’t just read the scripture, engage it. Dive into it. Circle the parts you don’t understand and make your Bible look like a doctoral student got ahold of it because it’s okay to not get it 100%. It’s okay to feel like you came up short in your Bible study time. God wrote it and you’re not God so don’t expect yourself to fully understand it all.

Be. Real. With. Your. Brothers. Stop holding back so you look like you’re not the broken guy. You’re all broken guys, so get over yourself and be real. Say how you’re struggling. Make it real to yourself and to your bros so you can lean on each other and make it through.

Be aggressive, yet purposeful.
Be patient with your progress, yet forward-moving. Don’t sit around and wait for God to magically make everything work out.

You cannot do it alone.

Stop trying to.

32 Quotes that Impacted My Life Big Time

Over the last two months, I’ve read some books and some passages of scripture and some social media posts from friends that have stood out to me as worth remembering, if not memorizing. I just wanted to use this as an opportunity to share those with you.

“It’s the stuff that masquerades as the real thing but it’s not. The perplexing thing is, instead of putting the fake stuff down, our reaction is to usually put more fake stuff on or decide that the fake stuff, while not that good, is good enough.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

“‘God forgive me for my sin.’ I could pray this hourly and it would still be just as applicable as the hour before. But so would the cross.” -Renee Shofner

“These days, the view of God I hold onto isn’t Him being mad because I’ve missed the mark. It’s the one of Him seen through a bloody eye, scooping me into his arms, getting blood all over His shirt, and carrying me away to get healed.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

“You need people who will step up and step in to call out your foolishness. Don’t despise their rebuke–what they’re doing is they’re watching you set yourself on fire, and they’re offering to be an extinguisher.” -Timothy Ateek, Breakaway

“I will not leave you as orphans; I am coming to you.” -Jesus, in John 14:18

“I think satan exists, but I don’t give him a lot of thought. Neither does the Bible, honestly. We talk about satan way more than the Bible talks about satan…Jesus spoke with him for just a few seconds and then sent him away.” -Bob Goff,  Love Does

“There is not a single degree of difference between the strength of God’s love for Christ and Christ’s love for us. Not even a hint.” -Russ Ramsey, He Reads Truth

“Love precedes obedience. If you reverse that order, you lose the gospel. Obedience is not how we obtain Christ’s love–it is a response to it.” -Russ Ramsey, He Reads Truth

“[Speaking of his Jeep that leaked and pulled hard to the left while driving as results of an accident in which an elderly woman t-boned his Jeep and sent him flying through its roof] I want to leak from having been hit by Jesus. From having something crazy happen to me, something that flipped my life upside-down. I’ve met people like that–people who leak Jesus. Whenever you’re around them, Jesus just keeps coming up with words and actions. I don’t suppose everybody gets hit by Jesus, but those of us who have talk about Him differently. We start steering funny; we start leaking where we stand. And it’s because we got thrown from our lives in a terrific collision.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

“For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by Whom we cry out ‘Abba, Father!'” -Paul, in Romans 8:15

“If you are in Christ, you have overcome the world because He overcame the world. Nothing shall separate you from Him–from His love or His power.” -J.A. Medders, He Reads Truth

“You don’t need to know everything when you’re with someone you trust. That’s probably why Jesus’s disciples never said they were on a mission trip. I think they knew love already had a name and they didn’t need a program or anything else to define it. We don’t either. The kind of adventure Jesus has invited us on doesn’t require an application or prerequisites. It’s just about deciding to take up the offer made by a Father who wants us to come.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

“All of these [scriptures] are good signposts, and they should be enough. Besides, we shouldn’t speak with an assurance we don’t really have like we’re God’s P.R. agent and risk misquoting the God of the universe, Who could turn us into a pile of salt. This all helps me be a little more respectful and humble when I’m attributing something to God.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

“Discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want now.” -Abraham Lincoln

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing–to reach the mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from–my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing? All the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back.” -C.S. Lewis

“Jesus modeled that we don’t need to talk about everything we’ve done. It’s like He was saying, ‘What if we were to just do awesome incredible stuff together while we’re here on earth,’ and the fact that only He knew would be enough? If we did that, we wouldn’t get confused about Who was really making things happen.” -Bob Goff, Love Does

“[Jesus’s resurrection] is such an incredible claim that it should have been easy to disprove if it were false. But this is not what has happened.” -Russ Ramsey, He Reads Truth

“The Bible argues. It isn’t a string of pearls but a chain of linked thoughts. A unit of thought has a main point; everything else supports it. Trying to figure out how these supports work is what understanding is.” -John Piper

“John concludes his gospel account with these words: ‘Now there were many other things that Jesus did,” (21:25). I tend to think of those ‘many other things’ as grand displays of power, staggering miracles, and earth-shaking utterances. But I’m beginning to wonder if John is speaking of something else. How many words of love and kindness did Christ utter? How many meals humble prepared? How many quiet stoopings? How many washings of feet? How many wipings of tears from the eyes? How many ordinary, plain, and small glories did He display?” -Caleb Faires, He Reads Truth

“Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Love, therefore, is the fulfillment of the Law.” -Romans 13:10

“A good neighbor makes himself available to those around him. This is who our neighbor is–anyone in our path. Compassion for a person who is suffering injustice or disadvantage breaks the heart of a good neighbor and moves him to act on that neighbor’s behalf. Jesus did this all the time. Do we? Unlike God, we all put up fences in an attempt to segment our responsibilities to love and care for others. Often we build walls around our hearts that prevent us from serving the broken, the victim, the offender, the poor, and the culturally unacceptable. The gospel calls for us to get rid of the fenced-off compounds we live in today, and engage one another in love. Loving this way will cost us resources, time, emotions, and comfort. But this is the way we were loved.” -Jevon Washington

“I am.” -G.K. Chesterton, when asked what is wrong with the world?

“Knowing what something is is not the same as knowing how something feels.” -Lois Lowry, The Giver

“Better is a moment that I spend with You than a million other days away.” -Phil Wickham, The Secret Place

“Nobody took Jesus’s life–He laid it down. And He said, ‘To prove it, I’m gonna pick it back up again.” -Todd Wagner, The Porch

“You can’t carry a cross without suffering.” -Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan

“Every morning, we crawl back on the altar and die to ourselves.” -Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan

“I don’t really know what Peter was thinking when he confessed that Jesus was ‘the Christ.’ Sometimes I read this story straight, like I did as a kid, and think that Peter and the rest of the disciples on this side of the empty tomb can see. But there are times when I read this story and all the unbelief surrounding his confession makes me wonder if he said it with a question mark in his mind. ‘We hope You’re the Messiah. Please be the Messiah.'” -Matthew B. Redmond, He Reads Truth

“The gospel message of grace and acceptance apart from works would turn Paul’s religious achievements into a pile of rubbish, and be the end of all his boasting.” -John Piper

“Sometimes Jesus intentionally frustrates us.” -Russ Ramsey, He Reads Truth

“Jesus is asking [the rich young ruler] to lay down his entire approach to security.” -Russ Ramsey

“God’s breath is the essential characteristic of the human soul. Any time we speak of the human soul, we are speaking of God’s breath. The two are inextricably connected. There was no human soul until God breathed, so God’s breath defines the human soul.” -Judah Smith, How’s Your Soul

The Good Cowboy

This post is password protected due to subject matter of adult themes. If you’d like the password, email me at tyl3rhirsch1@gmail.com

“It’s the stuff that masquerades as the real thing but it’s not. The perplexing thing is, instead of putting the fake stuff down, our reaction is usually to put more fake stuff on or decide that the fake stuff, while not that good, is good enough.” -Bob Goff

When I was probably fourteen or fifteen years old, my dad took me out to the pasture to check on our cows. He had only recently begun raising cattle, so the herd was still small, and most of them were heifers, which means they’d never had a calf before.

A member of our church had land they let dad use to let his cattle graze on, and the easiest way to get to that land from our house back then was straight through the pasture on the neighbor’s property, where he was grazing a herd of his own. As we rolled up to the fence separating the two properties, we noticed something out of the ordinary. The neighbor’s bull was pacing along the fence, snorting and huffing and dripping snot out of his nose like a water faucet. He was heated.

At first I thought he was just mad, but then I figured it out: our heifers were on the other side of the fence, and he wanted them.

And that was a major problem.

You see, it was March, and cows have a gestation period of about nine months. If that bull were to jump the fence and breed our heifers, their babies would be born in the dead of winter, lowering their chance of survival to almost zero.

Immediately my dad jumped into crisis mode. He inched the four-wheeler closer and closer to the bull, coaxing him away from the fence as best he could with his voice and with grain, but it did absolutely nothing. The bull was 110% determined to get over or through that fence, whatever it took.

And eventually he did. Even though the fence was sharp and spiny barbwire, he risked getting tangled and even ending his life to jump the fence and chase the heifers for 30 seconds of pleasure. It didn’t matter what my dad said. Even though he was looking out for not only the bull but for the heifers, their calves, and the bull’s owner, too (because once the calves are born it becomes an issue figuring out who they belong to), even though he was doing all that, the bull couldn’t hear him because he wasn’t my dad’s bull.

“I assure you: Anyone who doesn’t enter the sheep pen by the door but climbs in some other way, is a thief and a robber. The one who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. The doorkeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought all his own outside, he goes ahead of them. The sheep follow him because they recognize his voice. They will never follow a stranger; instead they will run away from him, because they don’t recognize the voice of strangers.”

When my dad has his cattle breed, he’s intentional about it. He keeps the bull separate from the cows until the right time so that when the babies are born, they’re set up for success. It’s not to limit the cows and keep them from pleasure, but to look out for their best interest and well-being, as well as their babies’. The whole thing is incredibly deliberate–no sneakiness, no tricks, no lies, just honesty and openness and care.

I think Jesus thinks of sex the same way.

We want to do it our way, when we want it, where we want it, how we want it, not listening to what he says. But if we’re honest, truly full pleasure, truly fulfilled intimacy is only achieved at the right time, in the right setting. Sex is for marriage. That intimacy is unparalleled, and God knows it. In scriptures like 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 He’s warning us, “Don’t jump that fence! You’ve been given a time and place to experience that pleasure and intimacy, and it’ll be given again in the future! If you jump now, not only will you risk hurting yourself, there are so many others’ lives you’re affecting, too. I love you. I care about you, all of you. Listen to me.”

But if we’re not spending time hearing what His voice sounds like, actually acting like we’re His, how are we going to hear him when we’re ready to risk it all for thirty seconds of pleasure?

It takes time. It takes effort. If we’ve accepted His free gift of grace on the cross and in the empty tomb, we’ll be with Him in paradise but to know Him and to hear His voice in the darkness today, we need to listen in the places He’s already spoken, like His Word.

That bull made it over the fence. He bred something like 15 to 20 of our heifers. Most of their calves died that winter.

The decisions we make when we think we’re in the dark, we think we’re alone, and that no one else will be affected reach much farther than we could ever imagine.

For the millions of people out there who are struggling with lust, pornography, masturbation, premarital sex, and all other kinds of sexual immorality, listen to me:

I get it.

I’ve been there.

Heck, I am there.

It’s not bad that life is stressful and you want a break from it. It’s not bad that since you feel like people don’t like you then all you really want is to feel good about yourself–to feel powerful. It’s not bad that you desire intimacy and pleasure.

All of those desires are good desires. What is not good is when we think that porn, sex with our girlfriend/boyfriend, or anything else that isn’t Jesus will meet those needs.

They won’t.

Like, ever.

Think about the shame and humiliation that always follows. We can’t escape it.

But when we fix our eyes on Jesus by waking up every single morning and deciding every single hour to commit all over again to fight for Him, filling our minds with His promises by memorizing scripture, and being real, open, and honest with those who are closest to us and that we know will tell us the absolute truth when we mess up, we will hear His voice when He calls us away from the fence and leads us right through the door to the real stuff. The good stuff. The best stuff.

Psalm 16 says “In His presence, there is fullness of joy, at His right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Who is at God’s right hand?

That’s right–Jesus.

In His presence, walking daily, hourly, heck, by the minute, with Him showers pleasure and joy like we could never imagine.

Tired

I’m sick.

Here I am sitting in the middle of the city I’ve dreamed of living in for years, surrounded by incredible friendships and serving in a church whose sole focus is radically changing the culture of Dallas by living wholly in the love of Jesus and I should be ecstatic. And in a lot of ways, I am.

But when I look around at this beautiful nation that I’ve been so blessed to call home I’m freaking sick. It’s absolutely horrific.

Politically left members of my own generation are acting like total babies because Trump was elected president.

Practically the entire political right in this country seems to have forgotten how rotten a person Trump has shown himself to be over the last few decades and have changed their tune dramatically from when Trump was one of 16 possibilities rather than the president-elect himself, going so far as to say that God himself chose Trump to lead (and while the scripture does say God appoints authorities over us that is still a different discussion for a different day).

Violence in the U.S. is outrageous. Five law enforcement officers have been killed since SUNDAY. (WFAA Channel 8, Dallas, 11/23/16 6:00 PM broadcast)

FIVE.

Families are being torn apart. Strangers are attacking each other simply because of who they voted for. What were once deeply-rooted friendships are now overturning at a moment’s notice, maybe never to be mended again.

It’s Thanksgiving but nobody in America seems to want to talk about anything except all the stuff that pisses us off. Evidently we don’t know anything except how much of a failure our country is becoming right under our noses.

Well I’m tired of it.

Not to the point that I want to ignore it. Oh, no. There is work to be done.

Liberals need to get up off their butts and stop crying, focus on what their values are and start doing something about it. If they want to see change in America that aligns with their beliefs, crying about it and playing with Play-Doh® isn’t going to do anything. Did you see Martin Luther King Jr. sitting criss-cross applesauce on the university quad bawling his eyes out? No. He got work done. Even from jail (even though we should never have put him in a position where he had to, but that’s another conversation, too).

Conservatives need to shut up. We’re not helping anyone by rubbing Trump’s win in everybody’s faces. So what. He won. Have you forgotten how crookedly he treats the people around him? It occurs to me that quite a few people have. I once read an article that proposed the idea that a young man addicted to pornography can’t expect to waltz into marriage and suddenly be freed from it because he’s now sleeping with his wife. It will still be there unless he does something about it. In the same way, Trump’s position in the White House isn’t gonna magically change his heart and his actions, either. And at 70–I’m just saying–his chances are slim.

I want us to remember things we can still be thankful for today, because God knows we need to.

This election showed us a ton of things in America have changed.

BUT

We still put people on the moon first.

We still invented Dr. Pepper. And Cheez Whiz. And the alarm clock. And the car. And the airplane. And the internet. And the calculator. And the cell phone. And cotton candy.

And Blue Bell.

We still won 2 world wars (and, admittedly, war isn’t something to be proud of but at least the ability to put an end to a few is, I think).

We still are a beacon of light and hope to millions upon millions of people each year. The reason we have an immigration problem stems from the fact that America is still a land of opportunity.

I could make this list go on forever, but I hope you’re starting to see the point because I don’t have the patience to write for that long. We need to get over ourselves and remember the most important underlying thought in all of this: whether we voted red, blue, green, or any other color this election, and however we feel about the results, we are still Americans at the most fundamental level, and we need to act like it.

Together.

We’re not going to make it through the next four years if we don’t.

Matthew 7:7 (Sky Ranch 2016-Week 6 Update)

“He did this so they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.” –Acts 17:27

I’ve done this before. Day camp with Sky Ranch in the inner-city neighborhoods of South Dallas is something I’ve been through before. Granted, it was a year ago, but still–the fact remains that I should’ve expected the exhaustion that would’ve come with this week. Launch Camp in itself wears you out in a way that’s unique to any other job I’ve ever had before, but TRU Camp (which is what we call our sites in the inner-city; where kids from urban areas can learn what is the real and constant truth in Jesus), man, it hits you on another level. And sometimes, it literally physically hits you.

Fights are common. Violence is not unusual, which is why I shouldn’t have been surprised when one of my campers hauled back to smack his fellow camper on the cheek at 110%, but I was. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see the camper who received the slap go straight to retaliation mode with blinders on so strong, he kicked, bit, and punched every leadership person who tried to calm him down, including the sweet lady who runs the center where we’re holding camp this week, but I was.

Logic says I should expect this from these kids. No, more accurately, Satan says I should expect this from these kids.

Satan calls them, “these” kids. As if they’re any different.

But you know what Jesus sees? His children, surrounded by a world that contains an entire crowd nearly full of people who don’t love them like they need. He sees children who have been born into a situation they can’t control, but simply want love, attention, and a friend who cares for them like Jesus does.

To people, it doesn’t make sense why we would go into this week with arms and hearts wide open to receive literal punches to the nose or bites on the arm and most likely never see the fruit of our efforts.

But to Jesus, and to those who follow Him, it makes perfect sense.

He was beaten. He was mocked–scorned by the very ones He came to save. And yet, He chose to endure that suffering willingly. Why? Because He knew the end of the story. He knew Who won it all at the end. He knew that His suffering would bring life to the people of the world.

While our struggles at TRU Camp sites are not anywhere close to the craziness that went down on the cross and during the events that led up to it, it’s a beautiful picture of what Jesus has done for us. I am so happy to have been counted part of His chosen few to speak this truth to these kids, and to be blessed enough for them to speak just as much back into mine, even if they don’t know they’re doing it.

The kids I’ve met at TRU Camp sites hold a special place in my heart. In the midst of such tragic and heartbreaking events happening around our country in cities like Ferguson, Baltimore, and now New Orleans and even here in Dallas, just minutes from these precious kiddos’ front doors, the Lord has seen fit to place us right smack in the middle of it all to show these kids and in turn their families who He really is and what His love looks like in action.

Y’all pray for these sweet children. Pray that as we sit down with them today to talk about what Jesus looks like in each of their lives uniquely that they have open hearts, minds, and an eager curiosity to know more about Him. May they reach out and find Him, and discover He is not far from any of us.

I don’t believe that God is sovereign.

There is strength within the sorrow;

there is beauty in our tears.

And You meet us in our mourning,

with a love that casts out fear.

And You are working in our waiting,

You’re sanctifying us.

When beyond our understanding,

You’re teaching us to trust.

Your plans are still to prosper; You have not forgotten us.

You’re with us in the fire and the flood.

You are faithful forever–perfect in love,

You are sovereign over us.

If you can tell me you honestly believe every word in that song every minute of every day and you’ve never doubted it I’ll give you $100 right now.

Seriously. You tell me right now that this hasn’t been a question for you ever and I will drop everything and give you a crisp one-hundred dollar bill.

If it were the other way around and you were offering me that cash, I wouldn’t get it. I’d have to be straight up with you and say I doubt that. I doubt it every day. I mean, if we’re going to be 100% honest I can’t tell you I believe that God really is sovereign often enough for it to make a difference for me, and I doubt you’re much different.

I mean, think about it–I fall off a cliff and I look at my life post-accident and I find myself wheelchair-bound and hopping around with a walker to the point that going about 200 yards knocks me out and makes me stop to catch my breath every ten steps. What would that do to you when you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life more active than half the people you knew? I ran track for almost ten years, played basketball, football, ran cross-country, spent my college years in the gym and running and working on my feet for sometimes 12 hours straight, and now all I do is sit at home and watch The Walking Dead and The Office while my dog tries to lay on my lap and I keep having to kick her off.

Even worse, I’m a people person. I spent my days interacting with dozens, if not hundreds of people. You know who I see now? Pretty much just my mom, dad, and sisters with a few friends sprinkled in every now and then. And while I love my family to death and would spend the rest of my life with only them if I needed to without question, it’s not what my life was before.

And to top it all off, I spent the summer of 2015 discovering that Jesus has given me a passion to serve Him and also kids at my single favorite place on earth–Sky Ranch. But now, there’s a solid chance I won’t get to do that again this year. I’ve already had to drop out of school for the semester. Will I have to drop camp, too?

Capture
A quick shot from one of our community nights last summer.

Honestly, I think I’d feel better if I had a solid answer–a yes or a no, not a maybe. But I don’t. I have a nice, strong, brutish maybe. I can start bearing weight on my foot the week staff training starts, and some people with my injury haven’t had required therapy. So since I have no idea if I’ll actually need therapy or not, and won’t know until my eight weeks of non-weight-bearing are up, I’m kind of freaking out here.

I want to know. I want answers. I want the security that comes with having enough information to make a plan.

I hate not having a plan.

“Lean on Jesus and trust Him to take care of it all in His timing–that can be your plan,” you might say. But I have a serious problem with that. Not that I disagree, but that I have serious trouble actually buying in to that. I lay awake at night wondering what it’ll feel like in May thinking about how surely I knew that Jesus was sending me to camp for the summer, but instead I’m 627 miles away sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day. I have actually lost more hours of sleep over this than I’d like to admit.

I really suck at believing that God is sovereign.

Capture2

I want this recovery process to be over and to be back on my feet. I want to go to camp and love Jesus in a way kids can’t ignore, get to know them and my co-staff and make lifelong friends. I want to meet Jesus through those people, and through the quiet, calm serenity of camp. I want to get sweet tan lines from my  tanks and my Chacos. I want to go to camp.

But what if I don’t?

What will happen in May if I don’t go to camp?

How will I feel?

You know what the answer is to all of those questions? It doesn’t stinking matter.

Jesus said something pretty profound in Matthew 6:34–

Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Dang right it does. Today sucks.

Which is exactly what He wants me, and you, to get a grip on. In my case, stop worrying about May. Stop worrying about camp. Just completely forget about your tan lines. Focus on today. What do you need to do today?

I need to talk to Jesus, learn His word, and see where He wants me to go today. And where He wants me to go is where I already am–living where He’s put me and acting like His sacrifice on the cross and His resurrection we just celebrated last weekend actually means something to me. It means everything, and I need to show it.

Here’s another song I need to start playing until I can’t get it out of my head:

I don’t know about tomorrow–
I just live from day to day.
I don’t borrow from it’s sunshine,
for it’s skies may turn to gray
I don’t worry o’er my future,
for I know what Jesus said!
And today He walks beside me
For He knows what lies ahead.
Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand.
But I know Who holds tomorrow
and I know Who holds my hand.