You ever see that guy on the street corner downtown that prays at the top of his lungs with a megaphone? Like even the megaphone gets worn out. “GOD IN HEAVEN, WOULD YOU SPARE YOUR WRATH ON THOSE HEATHEN THAT ARE WALKING INTO THAT BAR OVER THERE WITH THE TANK TOPS AND SHORT SHORTS!? DO NOT INCUR YOUR WRATH ON THEM THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!!!!” He’s kinda scary to me, honestly.
Or what about this guy: “Father, we just love You so much, Jesus and God we pray that as we come into Your presence, Lord, that you multiply Your heavenly blessings to us, Lord, and that we seek, Oh God, that we seek Your will tonight, Father God Lord, and Jesus Your power from heaven is matchless, and powerful, and majestic, and so good, and Lord Jesus would you…” CRINGE. What if I talked to my bros that way? “Yeah dude, idk bro I just think it’s not the right day man, bro, you know dude? Yeah, bro, it’s so crazy my guy, I can’t believe it man.” Gag.
I’ve got more: ever had a friend who said “Oh goodness, yeah, I’ll definitely pray for you!” Or maybe you said that to someone, but you both know it’s not actually going to happen. Y’all going straight home and that prayer is 100% not going up because you’re gonna forget. Or maybe you don’t actually care; you just told them you’d pray because saying “No, sorry, I won’t,” is rude and awkward.
Or maybe you got asked to pray in small group, and you nearly laid an egg; Me? Oh no, I can’t pray in front of these people. *gulp* “Sure,” and then you pray, only to leave the group embarrassed out of your mind.
Regardless where you stand with your experiences over prayer, we’ve got some funny ways to do it. Or not do it.
Every single one of these descriptions of prayer only exists because the pray-er is worried about other people. Think about it – hellfire and brimstone boy isn’t screaming for the tank-top short-shorts girls’ sakes; he wants everybody else to turn and watch. Father-God-Lord-Jesus-Savior-King Man is exhibiting a textbook definition “nervous filler-word” dynamic; he’s worried about what the people listening think so he adds a bunch of words to sound super spiritual. Dropping a promise to pray for someone else stems from making a commitment that you don’t know if you can keep, or that sometimes is a straight-up lie so the other person doesn’t hate you for being a jerk. Anxiety about being bad at prayer is a direct result of worrying about “doing it right” or impressing the other people in the group. If that’s how we’re praying, then who are we actually praying to? Sure as heck doesn’t sound like we’re focused on God very much, if at all.
See, the thing is, that’s exactly what’s going on: when most Christians in 2021’s version of Western Christianity pray, they’re not focused on God; no, they’re aiming at impressing the people who listen.
My friends, this is a dangerous way to pray. And Jesus knows it:
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Matthew 6:5-8 ESV
Jesus says that whoever is praying like this (and he basically describes the first 2 people I mentioned almost verbatim) already has what they’re looking for, and is steeped in deception. The “hypocrites” and the “Gentiles” are the people who pray start to finish with the goal of getting others’ to pay attention to them. In other words, they think their prayer is an opportunity for promotion. Ever met anybody like that? Heck – ever been that person?
These are the people who don’t actually listen to you to hear about you, they only ever care to talk about themselves. They need other people to like them so bad that they feel a compulsion to do and say things that force you to acknowledge them and what they’re doing. Or, out of the same root feelings, they do and say everything they can to get you to focus on something else besides them. This comes in all kinds of packages; from the wild and rambunctious attention-seeker to the anxiety-ridden introvert, every single one of us has been this person. We feel a pressure to perform, and unfortunately, our God-given, abundantly gracious method of communication with the Creator of the Universe gets caught in this crossfire.
But it’s normal for us to be this kind of person now. Romantic couples literally have brands for merch and social media marketing. Individuals, too. There’s a ton of people on social media now who are famous just because they’re famous, and the rest of us feel like we have to be like them, too. We are constantly promoting ourselves. We look around and try to make sense of the world around us based on what we see the people in our circles doing. We think, “Well, all of my best friends have a side-hustle and a personal brand and they’re launching their YouTube channel or podcast or clothing line and their Instagram stories look like so much fun; that’s what I need to be doing. When I get there, I’ll be doing well for myself.”
So we start using other people and things that were never meant for this to get there.
Including God. Including prayer.
Jesus isn’t having it, people. Quit acting like He’s okay with this type of Christianity. Quit playing games.
Don’t believe me? Let’s break down they way Jesus says we should pray:
“Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.”
Matthew 6:9 ESV
Step 1: “Our”. Jesus assumes that we are praying together. If you get nothing else from this post, get this:
Fake friends promote, but real friends pray. But how do they pray? Clearly not the way we described earlier.
Step 2: “Hallowed be your name.” Hallowed means holy, which means separate or different. Translation? Recognize that God, your Father, is different and that’s good. Acknowledge it. Get your heart in line with it. Nothing else makes sense without it.
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:10 ESV
Step 3: “Your kingdom…Your will.” Drag your need to promote yourself out into the light and slaughter it. Your heart needs what His heart wants. Get that, and you get life, basically. So step #3 is to line up with what God wants for you (I promise it’s better than your wildest imagination).
“Give us this day our daily bread,”
Matthew 6:11 ESV
Step 4: “Give us.” You have and know what we need, God; so we trust you’ll give it to us. Again, He knows better and we get our hearts in line with it.
“and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Matthew 6:12 ESV
Step 5: “Forgive us.” You can’t truly ask for forgiveness without humility; check your pride at the door and own where you’ve messed up with others. I hope you’re noticing a trend here, because Jesus is definitely using one.
“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
Matthew 6:13 ESV
Step 6: “Lead us.” When’s the last time anybody in 2021 willingly asked somebody else to lead them?
Jesus is trying to over and over again, in every conceivable area of life, hammer this point home:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.”
Matthew 5:3 ESV
People who know they’re poor in spirit (AKA they need God, and can’t do life on their own) have no need to promote. They can pray for you, they can pray with you, and in doing so they can make sure your heart and theirs are lined up right next to what God wants for you; to prosper you and protect you, to give you a hope and a future, and to be treated by Him and by others like the image of God that you were made to be.
We gotta stop using our relationship with Jesus to impress other people; it’s making so many of us not want to go to church, and it’s causing us to do really stupid things in the name of God, all because we’re so afraid that somebody out there might not like us. Be honest. Be real. That starts with admitting your own inability to do life and it grows from there to the way you love the people around you.
Stop praying to promote yourself. Get in your prayer closet, plead for God to turn your heart to His, then get out there and live like it’s true with everybody else.
You’ll surprise yourself what kind of person you can be, and what kind of life you can live when this is true of you.
Ty Hirsch 